I Survived 24 hours in a car, no computer, and a non-stop eating frenzy

I'm hungry all the time, my stomach is beginning to hang out my pants, and my clothes are fitting tight. 4 days of the family pumping sugar and all sorts of amazing foods full of saturated fat in my belly via my veins mouth, no wonder. My stomach has stretched so much that I get hungry 20 minutes after a large meal. Gotta love the holidays! 

Short aside... Is this what its like when you're preggers? Because I do not know how I will be able to control my eating if I can't even do it for a few days during the holidays. (P.S. I am not preggers)

Starting January 2nd, I will be back at Curves working off the 3 10 pounds I gained in one week. PLUS losing extra, I hope, to get in shape for the wedding celebration in May. My goals are to shed 15 pounds and tone my arms and belly although I refuse to call it a "New Years Resolution." Slap those 3 words in front of any sort of goal and I am bound to fail. 

I also survived my 4 days without a computer. I THOUGHT I would miss it, but quite honestly I didn't. In those 96 hours, the computer only crossed my mind twice. I even made my mom look something up for me to avoid breaching the commitment I made to myself. And so life does go on without a computer, believe it or not! (I was skeptical ;) )

Merry Christmas and Computerless

I work on my computer for a minimum of 8 hours a day. I play on my computer. I check my email on my computer. I blog on my computer. I put all my photos on my computer and crop them and print them and... and...

Okay, I think you get my drift. It's hard for me to even put my computer down anymore. SO I have decided to go computerless from Wednesday til Sunday. It's not very long and I think I can do it! I can't remember the last time I have gone a day, muchless four, without checking my email or facebook or blog or myspace or... 

It's Christmas and I am going to enjoy that time with my new and "old" fam. 

We're traveling 12 hours to my home and on the way seeing my hubby's family. I can not wait! Except that the weather is supposed to be BAD, really bad and although my hubby is not used to driving in the snow, he insists on driving. Sigh. Men. 

So anyway, Merry Christmas! Enjoy this time with your friends and family! And in all the hustle and bustle don't forget the reason we celebrate Christmas, Jesus' birth.

P.S. I stole this picture from a friend... THIS is where we're going!

Guess we get to see some real snow after all.

Fairy Tales and Reality IV

First Read...

Fairy Tales and Reality I

Fairy Tales and Reality II

Fairy Tales and Reality III

My eyes gazed at the list. I rubbed the sleepiness out of them with my fingers and searched frantically for my name. I flipped through the pages and just didn't see it. 

When we're nervous and frantic somehow we miss the obvious. 

Someone eventually pointed to their name which was right below... MINE... AT THE VERY TOP! In my second production with Mrs. Buford, I scored the lead! 

*********************************

I am not the most confident person in the world, and I was far from cool in High School. I was lucky to have a friend or two at a time at that school. Because of that and my perfectionist type A personality, I was super hard on myself all the time. 

For once in my life, I had the opportunity to not have all that pressure on myself. Yes, I wanted to do the best I possibly could as Rosalind, but I eventually sort of melded into her. So for those 2-3 6 hours of practice each night, I could be someone else. I didn't have all those extra pressures on me. It was wonderful. I could pretend to be in love and pretend to experience it like a little girl twirling in her dress up clothes or playing barbies. I was that little girl again, I was free. 

Until... the kiss... which I will explain at a later date. 

One of those mornings - my apartment smells like burnt cloth

I am sitting on the floor just minding my own business getting a shoulder rub from my hubby because when I'm sick, my shoulders hurt like the dickens. (Does anyone say that anymore?)

I had asked him if he minded starting the kettle for some tea but instructed him to add water and be sure to put it on the big burner. I was sitting in front of him working when I started to smell burning. Eventually I got up and walked to the kitchen. I saw red and orange and smoke. It was not good. 

The tea kettle was sitting on the small burner which was on high. When I picked it up there was no water in it. (Mind you the kettle had maybe been on 5 minutes!) Next to the kettle on the counter was the oven mit I used for the chili last night and in front of that was the spoon I used to serve the chili. The mit was singed and still singeing and the handle to the spoon had melted. These items weren't even that close to the burner. I didn't panic. I just called my hubby's name and told him he needed to see what happened. Then handed him the mit and told him to throw it in the fireplace. Sigh. I do things like this too... Can't be mad at him.

In fact, I was so distracted last night that I forgot to put away the yummy chili I made and the fresh homemade loaf of bread. I managed to save the bread but the chili? Meat sitting out all night in tomato sauce is just not salvageable. :( I hate to waste things! 

Oh well. Just one of those mornings I suppose. 

Fairy Tales and Reality III

First Read...

Fairy Tales and Reality I

Fairy Tales and Reality II

If you've never experienced that overwhelming feeling of having to wait 3 days to find out what part you got in the school play or if you even got a part, you're missing out. It's pretty nerve-racking. Forget sleeping... It just doesn't happen.

And of course, although 3 days is the promise, it really never works out that way. And sometimes the parts are posted at the beginning of the day and sometimes they're posted at the end of the day. And sometimes your friends get to it before you can and as much as you want to ditch class and go see the list, you are too much of a goody too shoes to do that. So you get the lav pass and shimmy down there instead or not... 

********************************

Practice was going to start that night for those that got parts. By this point in time I was so tired and shaken up that I just wanted to see the list and go to bed. Forget classes, forget practice, just tell me if I got the dang part or not. By the end of the day the list was up. 

Part of me wanted to run down the hall around the corner down the stairs and around the next corner as fast as I possibly could. The other part of me wanted to just procrastinate and eventually drag myself down. (I know, you'd think after 2 or 3 nights without sleep I wouldn't want to way any longer.) 

So I chose to take deep breaths and go at a decent pace. Thump. Thump. Thump. Stopped at my locker. Thump. Thump. Thump. Faster and faster. The wall was surrounded by those who had auditioned a few days prior. I managed to push my way through and let my eyes wander over the page. "Preston." "Teressa." "Ashley." "James." Where was my name?

to be continued...

Fairy Tales and Reality II

First Read....

Fairy Tales and Reality I

I am typically pretty good at hiding my nerves. Most people can not tell when I get nervous. But it was just all hanging out there at this point. 

As I stood up, my legs were shaking. I heard a crinkling noise and peered down at my hand which was also quivering. Taking a deep breath, I took a step. And then another. I tried telling myself that it wasn't really a big deal. "It wouldn't be the end of the world if I just didn't get a part at all." Life would go on. There was always the musical in a few months. "Breathe. Just breathe. It's going to be over soon." 

I walked up the steps and onto the stage. I saw Mrs. Buford staring at me over her glasses. Yes, over them. You know, when they tilt the glasses down and peer over the top. I took one more deep breath, looked at my auditioning partner and tried to keep my composure. 

"GULP"

First I had to read the part of Celia and then Rosalind and then Rosalind with Orlando and then Phoebe with someone else... 

And there were lots of "forths" and "thees" and "thousts" Good thing I was passionate about Shakespeare and "got" what he was saying.

ROSALIND

Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of;
and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could
teach me to forget a banished father, you must not
learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure.

CELIA

Herein I see thou lovest me not with the full weight
that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father,
had banished thy uncle, the duke my father, so thou
hadst been still with me, I could have taught my
love to take thy father for mine: so wouldst thou,
if the truth of thy love to me were so righteously
tempered as mine is to thee.

....... (I cut out about 5 more lines)

Exhale... First one done. My attitude changed. "Wow that wasn't so bad," I thought. I had only tripped up 5 or 10... okay maybe 15 words. 

By the next group of lines I was nervous again, but not quite so bad. 

As soon as it was over, I scurried out of the room. I was just too hyped up to stick around and make small talk. Time to go to my bedroom and wallow and maybe...throw up. 

Sigh... I'm already a Junior. "There is just no way I'm EVER going to get the lead in a show. I'm just not good enough. Everyone else is so talented... But gosh, I hope I got it."

Basically the entire night consisted of "Gasp, maybe I got the part. Sigh, there's no way I did. Maybe I got a part? Probably not. I should've done that differently. Boy I botched up that line." 

to be continued... 

Fairy Tales and Reality I

I was 16 years old and it was my first real opportunity to get a part in the school play. I received the script about a day before auditions and feverishly studied the lines. I read the entire Shakespearean play and did research on the characters. I was so excited about this opportunity but had no idea whether or not I was good enough to get the part. 

***************************************

Our director was different than most. The first underlying rule was that you had to be in a couple productions before you even had a shot at a major role. I had only been in one of her productions and it involved twirling a parasol in the chorus. I think I had one line that I struggled with wanting to do because it involved joking around about tarot cards. 

Anyway, the director was not just an english teacher that was just interested in directing plays. She went to school for theatre and lived and breathed it most of her life. This lady was very involved in theatre education and even pursued professional adjudication and competitions for her students and the musical productions. 

*************************************

I was pretty much in love with the character of Rosalind in the fall play we were about to do. She was this strong woman, who being banned from the court for her love of Orlando, decided to disguise herself as a man in order to stay safe on her journey. She runs into Orlando in the woods and he doesn't recognize her but he speaks of his love for Rosalind. She agrees to "teach him the lessons of love" if he promises to pretend he(she) is Rosalind and comes to woo him(her) every day. Okay so it sounds really confusing but it is fabulous. Read it or watch it...

***********************************

Where was I? Ah yes... Never in a MILLION years did I think I had a shot at the lead. I couldn't dance to save my life but boy did I love to act. There is just something about being someone else for those 3-4 months that was freeing.

I walked into my audition clasping my script with all my might. (At this point I had the lines memorized.) I sat shaking in my seat watching others recite their lines. "What if I mess up the lines? I am going to make such a fool of myself. What am I thinking? I should just walk out now. I'm not going to get a part." My heart was pounding out my chest. 

Then I heard my name called, "DANAE" With my heart now in my stomach and my stomach up in my throat, I stood up. It took everything within me just to swallow at this point. My hand was still grasping the script and I was shaking profusely. 

to be continued...