I am typically pretty good at hiding my nerves. Most people can not tell when I get nervous. But it was just all hanging out there at this point.
As I stood up, my legs were shaking. I heard a crinkling noise and peered down at my hand which was also quivering. Taking a deep breath, I took a step. And then another. I tried telling myself that it wasn't really a big deal. "It wouldn't be the end of the world if I just didn't get a part at all." Life would go on. There was always the musical in a few months. "Breathe. Just breathe. It's going to be over soon."
I walked up the steps and onto the stage. I saw Mrs. Buford staring at me over her glasses. Yes, over them. You know, when they tilt the glasses down and peer over the top. I took one more deep breath, looked at my auditioning partner and tried to keep my composure.
First I had to read the part of Celia and then Rosalind and then Rosalind with Orlando and then Phoebe with someone else...
And there were lots of "forths" and "thees" and "thousts" Good thing I was passionate about Shakespeare and "got" what he was saying.
Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of;CELIA
and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could
teach me to forget a banished father, you must not
learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure.
Herein I see thou lovest me not with the full weight....... (I cut out about 5 more lines)
that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father,
had banished thy uncle, the duke my father, so thou
hadst been still with me, I could have taught my
love to take thy father for mine: so wouldst thou,
if the truth of thy love to me were so righteously
tempered as mine is to thee.
Exhale... First one done. My attitude changed. "Wow that wasn't so bad," I thought. I had only tripped up 5 or 10... okay maybe 15 words.
By the next group of lines I was nervous again, but not quite so bad.
As soon as it was over, I scurried out of the room. I was just too hyped up to stick around and make small talk. Time to go to my bedroom and wallow and maybe...throw up.
Sigh... I'm already a Junior. "There is just no way I'm EVER going to get the lead in a show. I'm just not good enough. Everyone else is so talented... But gosh, I hope I got it."
Basically the entire night consisted of "Gasp, maybe I got the part. Sigh, there's no way I did. Maybe I got a part? Probably not. I should've done that differently. Boy I botched up that line."
to be continued...