Thursday, February 26, 2009

Long days are usually a bad thing

Today was a very long day where I accomplished next to nothing. This morning I woke up pretty sick with a sinus infection. I decided I HAD to go to work at least to complete one of my most important tasks and then go home. I made it until noon and was told several times that I needed to go home earlier. Pretty sure my face has blown up like a balloon and my eyes are sinking back into my head. It's really a painful process.

The whole point of going home was to rest, right? Well I tried... and tried... and tried... Could not fall asleep. Took some meds. Ate some soup. Could not fall asleep. Eventually I got up and did some things around the house because it's pointless to rest when you're restless.

I baked a cake for my sort of boss's b-day tomorrow. (No worries... I sanitized everything and washed my hands every 2.2 seconds.) And in the midst of sanitizing the kitchen, prior to the cake baking, our messed up pup decided to pee. And of course it wasn't just in one place. He peed on the floor in several places, on some paper, on my dustpan, on my shoe, on my husband's pant leg. (Yes, he was wearing the pants at the time.) It was just all bad. I keep trying to tell my hubby we can't live like this but he is insistent that we keep this dog.

A little background... We got him from a pound and are 99% sure he was abused. He was also an outdoor dog and has no problem being covered in pee and therefore likes to take opportunities to pee on himself in his crate.

Its really sad. I feel bad for the poor thing. But my patience is wearing thin and I am not home enough to retrain him.

Soon we hope to have a fenced in back yard. I think that will save my life. Well, at least the part about having to clean up after a pup all the time.

Monday, February 23, 2009

When life gets busy and boring...

Okay , let's face it. My life as gotten pretty boring. I get up at 6:30 or 7, leave for work at 7:30. Work 8-5. Get home at 5:30. Clean and cook. Watch a show with my husband. Go to bed and the day starts all over again.

I don't really have time for anything exciting and therefore nothing really exciting happens. Aside from not having time to blog, I really don't have anything interesting to tell you unless you care to know that I couldn't sleep last night because it felt like my tonsils were going to bust out of my throat. Or that every 5 minutes my hubby's dog felt the need to shake in his cage even after I yelled at him profusely. Or that I can't sleep on my left arm because I pulled something 2 weeks ago and it throbs when I fall asleep on it. But that still wouldn't be very interesting.

I'm hoping things will get a little more interesting at some point because all work and no play makes me a dull girl.

Any ideas on things I CAN blog about until life DOES get interesting again?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

25 things

1. I have been up since 5 am which NEVER happens except when I have to use the restroom.
2. I set 3 alarms to wake up and then usually reset them to sleep even longer.
3. I love blogging.
4. And I used to be fairly good at keeping up with it.
5. Then I got a new job which I absolutely love.
5. But never thought I would be doing something accounting related. I'll just keep telling myself it's business management.
6. Singing is one of my greatest passions.
7. I've never gone a day without busting into song at some point.
8. Usually my husband has to tell me what the actual words to the song are. He's like a walking Karaoke machine. And me? I just like to sing what I think the words are. It drives him nuts!
9. I haven't seen my husband on my birthday for 3 years. He was overseas for 2 of them.
10. I have the great privilege of marrying the most amazing man in the world twice. Our big wedding celebration is coming up.
11. I learned recently that I can not decorate in my head... Let me explain. I need to see the fabric, color, decorations, and move them and put them together. I can't just tell someone what I want...
12. I love to bake and decorate cakes.
13. But its on the rare occasion that I have the time anymore.
14. I've moved about 10 times in the last 4 years.
15. I like new places and new people, but I hate lugging all my stuff around.
16. I hate socks and wish I could go barefoot everywhere.
17. I also am not a fan of feet so in one way that poses a problem.
18. When I was 5 or 6 I missed the bus several times because I spent too much time trying to get my socks on so that the thread by the toe part didn't go under my feet.
19. I still hate when socks slide or the bump goes under my feet. Yuck.
20. I am a country girl at heart.
21. I would give anything to go four-wheeling on a muddy trail again.
22. I wish I could go everywhere on horse. No joke. Cars are just very faulty and expensive and in this area, DANGEROUS. I feel like I'm putting my life on the line when I drive around here. And horses are just really amazing animals...
23. I have one friend that has been my best friend for 22 years. We rarely talk anymore but we will always be there for each other.
24. Sometimes I really miss NY and some of the people there.
25. But then I realize that I really like it here too.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Conflicting Priorities

Today I felt something I hadn't felt in a very long time. Although my priorities have never been exactly where they should be, today I realized just how off they are. Work has somehow made it to the top of my list.

Work. You know, a job. The place where one spends the majority of their life. Where I am from 8-5 Monday through Friday. A something instead of a someone.

Being temp to hire has just naturally done that to me. And the fact that I have no insurance and have some fairly pressing reasons to go to a dentist/doctor doesn't help matters. I'm pushing the limit to get to my 520 hours with the hope that I will be hired full time.

When it comes to decisions about spending time with a friend or co-workers, I've gone the co-worker route because I want to be hired and I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

I understand this is probably very flawed ideology. People are much more important than a job. I know this and I was blessed to be able to work from home and have the time to spend with friends but that is not my current situation. I don't like that I've been this way but it is difficult to see another option. Sure I can do lunch with friends when I am able and meet them after work. I've done some of that but it also takes the little time I have with my hubby away. This is yet a new battle that I'm sure will work itself out or I just grin and bear it for the next 2 months and do the best I can. Either way, my heart is with my husband and my friends, even when my actions don't show it.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

If walls could talk

If walls could talk, I'm sure they'd have a lot to say about me... So allow me to let you enter the real me for a few moments.

Here's what they'd probably say.

1. She tries real hard to keep up with the laundry. It rarely happens.
2. She tries to stay on top of the dishes but with a broken dish washer and a lot of cooking, she rarely succeeds.
3. She loves everything to have a place but when places run out their place becomes the couch or closet.
4. She stresses way too much about things that really don't matter in the long run.
5. She doesn't always enjoy the simple things.

If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm not perfect and I completely struggle with trying to be perfect.

I try to live one day at a time and only be concerned for that day's troubles but when life happens it becomes increasingly impossible.

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in this. That other people just have it together. But I forget that they're human too and it is rare for someone to have it all together.

So if you find yourself looking around your house wishing you could snap your fingers and have your windows sparkle and floors completely clean... Or that you could clap your hands and all your worries and doubts and struggles would vanish.... You are not alone.

Friday, February 6, 2009

The end of the world as I know it

Things are changing in our household. God is definitely trying to move us in a new direction. We're more than likely going to be moving to a house about 40 minutes from where we live now. I started a new job. My hubby has a couple bites on a new job. There are changes that are so blatantly obvious I didn't even miss them this time.

Of course at this point my fear kicks in. Well what if my car breaks down and I don't have a vehicle to get me to work? Or what if I just can't get up an extra 40 minutes earlier to get to work on time. Or what if it is the wrong decision?

I am constantly plagued with this annoying voice in my head telling me it's NOT going to be okay when I know deep down it will. Change is good and normally I enjoy it and adjust quickly. But resistance is knocking at my door this time.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

The dreaded plateau

I absolutely hate dieting. Somehow even the thought of dieting makes me hungry and that perpetual feeling all while I'm trying to lose weight is enough to put me over the edge.

I work out at Curves and they decided to offer their nutrition program for free. All I had to do was give them three friends' names and I got the book free as well. It seemed like a great idea at the time. I want to lose some weight before the big wedding in 3.5 months and this would give me the accountability I need. Also, I've had a really hard time losing lately. My body just wants to stay at the same weight.

And although I lost 6 pounds the first week the last time I did this diet, pretty sure it was maybe 3 pounds, if that, this week. And....I'm....hungry.... So I'm hoping and praying that the dreaded trend of my body doing everything it can to fight me back and keep the weight it has will go away.

The good side so far...

1. I feel better.
2. I have been able to work out without getting dizzy. (unless I don't drink water but that's just dumb)
3. The area where I never used to gain weight but have been lately is shrinking.
4. My hips are feeling a little tighter (from working out).

Words of Advice...

1. Don't ever start a diet the week before you're going to retain extra water. Your body will hold much of that extra water you're drinking where normally you'd lose it. Those few pounds may be enough to encourage you to stick with the weight loss plan.

2. Don't start working out consistently the same week you start dieting. You can, but again those 2 lbs that turned from fat to muscle don't show up on the scale and you won't see what you've lost. Try to start working out a few weeks before.

3. DON'T decide to start dieting randomly when you've been craving something for a week. I WANT CHOCOLATE CAKE!!! ;) Anytime you see that item or smell it or walk by something similar, you'll crave like crazy.

The good thing about the diet I'm doing is that I don't have to starve myself very long.

It's 1200 calories for 7 days
1500 calories for 21 days
Then the normal 2000 calories for a couple weeks

And if you haven't reached your goal, you start over again. This supposedly helps break the plateaus and boosts your metabolism.