Baby on the Brain

For some reason no one my age really talks about this and thus I found myself hesitant to bring it up. I don't know why, it's not like some big secret or anything. 

I have "baby" on my brain. I feel like everywhere I go lately, I am surrounded by babies! 

My hubby and I met for lunch yesterday at Moes. We were sitting across from each other in a booth when I noticed there was a grandma and a baby at the table next to us. I watched another family with a baby walk by. There was a baby at the table behind me and one at the table behind my hubby. I was surrounded. They were all very quiet, but I noticed ALL of them. 

At least 10 friends/acquaintances are either pregnant, had a baby last month, or are due in about 4-5 months. No joke. They're in clusters within weeks of each other. It's crazy. 

I've been babysitting on the weekends again lately. Last weekend it was for a 9 month old and this weekend a 4 month and another 9 month. 

I am seriously having to fight myself right now. I want to take one day at a time and enjoy this time alone with my man. I want to enjoy the freedom and focus on the big wedding celebration. I have spent too much of my life wanting to be older or wanting the next thing. Setting goals and then achieving them, setting new goals and then achieving them,... I'm trying to stop the psychological circle here. 

But this motherly desire is busting at the seams. I want to experience a pregnancy and have a little one that is a combo of my hubby and I. Sigh. 

I hear its hard on the other end too... that even after you have all your children, that desire is still there.