I'm in love

CSA

After years upon years of contemplating whether or not to join a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), I decided it was time. Because of the price, we decided our best bet would be to split a full share with friends of ours.

Even though our farmer keeps telling us, it will get much better, I am SO happy with our decision to join. We are getting a variety of veggies that we eat often and a few that are different.

Can I just tell you that the taste of fresh veggies directly from the farmer is unlike anything I've experienced? I took some of the zucchini, summer squash, garlic scapes, and onion from this week's share, put them in a pan with a little olive oil, and let them do their thing. It didn't need anything else. The veggies were so flavorful and fresh. Mmmmm!

As for our garden...It is sadly filled with weeds that are taller than me; and I'm 5'9". My hubby and I agreed to go to town on it on Sunday. Since we're a part of the CSA, we've decided to only plant things I will can. So we will plant green beans, tomatoes, and cucumbers. I'm excited, but not looking forward to the weeding part.

Good week

This week, overall, has been surprisingly good; aside from some major back pain and laziness earlier in the week. I found out some great and exciting news from one of my closest friends, and I hit a goal today that I had no idea I'd hit!

I have not been eating very well lately and my workouts have been thrown out the window. Between our trip to New York and then some major back pain, I haven't been able to do much of anything. It stinks, but that is just how it is right now.

So, I begrudgingly decided to step on the scale. And to my surprise, the number had dropped. In fact, I have reached 20 POUNDS of weight loss! I feel like I have reached the other side. I still want to lose about 16 more pounds, but I know now that I can do it! I'm over half way there! I have all the right tools and I know what I need to do to get there. I'm able to make realistic goals for myself and keep off the weight!

The working out and losing weight also offers up a good distraction for other things that are going on... like the changes I talked about in my last post. I don't think I look that much different, but I feel leaps and bounds better than I did before I started losing the extra weight. Yay!

Another reason this week has been so good is because we were able to make another good size payment on my student loans, and after sitting down and doing some calculations I realized that we will definitely be able to pay them off by the end of September. (barring some sort of large and unexpected expense) That's just 3 months away! 3 months until we will be DEBT FREE! (minus the mortgage which we look at as an investment and not debt)

I'm feeling much lighter these days. ;)

I thought I could handle change...

I always thought I was one of those people who didn't have issues with change. I moved from New York to Tennessee without thinking twice. I've adapted to several moves and significant changes without a problem. But now, things are different.

There are so many changes happening at once, and I am baffled. My sister not only got married, but is moving to VA for grad school. My other sister is graduating high school. One of my friends is moving to California. My sister-in-law is getting married and moving within the year. Two of my cousins are getting married within the year. The dynamics of life in TN and visiting our hometowns are about to change drastically.

On top of that, my little girl is no longer a baby. She is a little girl. She has so much personality, is absorbing everything like crazy, and can have short conversations. I know this is just something I have to learn to get over because the older she gets, the less she will rely on her momma and dadda. But as much as I love the fact that she chooses to hug and kiss me and can answer my questions, I miss being everything to her.

The more I think about it, maybe the problem this time is not the change, but the fact that the change is out of my control. I could change pretty much any decision I've made, but I can't control or change what others do around me. Not that I'd want to... I guess I just have to accept that things are different and move on.

If only it were that easy for me.

Mixed Emotions...Sister getting married edition

Today started out with cuddles from my sweet little E. What better way to start the day than cuddling your babe? Then I made some white whole wheat raspberry pancakes and we enjoyed them; E with her milk and me with my coffee.

I find myself avoiding the inevitable. My sister, whom I've only recently developed a really great friendship with, is getting married. I have to pack. I have to vacuum my car. I have to get ready. I have to go to Ohio and then on to New York. She IS getting married.

I shouldn't feel weird by this. Her and her fiance have been together as long as my husband and I. (A couple weeks longer according to my sister who doesn't let that slide.) Her future husband is a great guy and I'm so glad my sister has found her soulmate.

But despite all we have been through, how many fights we've had, and how many great memories we've made, she is still my sister. And my sister is about to make one of the biggest, best, most exciting, and scariest changes one can make.

Despite the weird feeling I have, I am thrilled for my sister and her fiance. I know they will make each other really happy and they've been looking forward to this day for a long time. I am so proud of my sister.

Silence is a beautiful thing

It's 4pm. The house is [mostly] clean, including scrubbed toilets which I try to do as infrequently as possible. The dogs are [actually] calm and sleeping on the floor. The baby is in her crib silently snuggling her buddy, and my husband is at work.

And I... I am in an over-sized hoodie on our super comfy recliner, resting.

Life is good.

I'm only human

There are days where I think being a female stinks. Days like today where my emotions are completely out of whack and I feel as though I have no control over them. I'm not a big crier by any means and I can't seem to make myself stop crying today. And honestly? I have absolutely no reason to cry. None. Whatsoever.

Stress has taken over my body and I feel helpless. I have been working so hard to get ahead because I knew this week would be a little overwhelming. I have kept up with my house, planted tomatoes in egg cartons, bathed my child, prepared all sorts of cake decorating stuff ahead of time, and yet I still feel as though I am three steps behind. The house... well it's a mess today. The yard hasn't been mowed in over 2 weeks due to the rain and us not being home/around/able to mow when it hasn't been raining. The garbage is overflowing and I can't exactly take the garbage to the dump when the garbage cans are full of water because the wind blew the lids off and the rain filled them. I hate putting nasty, muddy garbage cans in my new-to-me vehicle.

So there is all of that which really amounts to nothing if you think about it. And there is a LOT of positive. Like...

- I've lost 15 pounds and over 7 inches (probably over 10 now but haven't measured in a while)
- I've been happier and healthier
- God has really blessed us financially this month
- My sister is getting married in a few weeks
- My baby girl is...well... about as close to perfect as one can get
- I have a nice house, a newish vehicle, and a wonderful church
- I get to stay at home with my girl
- I have an awesome hubby

It's seriously time for me to snap out of it. :)