Exposed

Hi. My name is Danae and I am a perfectionist. I also have pride tied into my perfectionism which is not a very good thing.

Let me start by saying this...

My house is probably only clean clean 1za0% of the time. It's probably mostly clean 50% of the time. (Mostly clean meaning it would take less than an hour to straighten up the entire house.) The rest of the time it's messy.

I can't imagine anyone with a toddler can keep up with their house every day. Even though every single time I have been to a few people with young children's homes, they've been immaculate. They must have cleaning fairies or hire someone. I just don't think it's possible.

So a friend needed to pick up something from me today and I cringed at the thought of her seeing the piles of clothes or the random assortment of who-knows-what scattered across the floor from my toddler. I was just not feeling up to cleaning today after a busy day yesterday and she was at my house within 10 minutes.

I was exposed. Someone besides my husband and toddler saw my house in it's messy state. Once my friend was in the house, I was calm...but the parts leading up to it were incredibly scary for me.

I am not sure why I have this issue. I've always been the type of person who would tell people how I really am when they asked. I don't feel the need to hide emotions by saying "I'm great." If I say it, I probably mean it.

So why do I have this issue with people seeing that I can't always keep a clean house? I don't think anyone else really cares except me.