Music and Passion

First off, let me start out by saying I am most passionate about God, then my wonderful husband. But I can not help the passion that has been ingrained in me since birth, music. It really started the first time I sang in front of people at the age of 3. No, no... Not just my family, but a few hundred people. This passion didn't die out. In fact, I can not remember a day I have gone without singing or a day I haven't listened to music. It's me, it's who I am. In some strange way, music defines me. I get so excited and worked up when I hear great music. I am filled with this overwhelming, unspeakable joy when I am able to share my heart through music. Music is my air. Without it, I could not breathe, and I would suffocate. When I need to vent or rejoice or scream, I sing and somehow that relieves every emotion I have or causes it to well up inside of me.

Tonight I was able to witness a production that I had a small hand in helping. I can not explain how that made me feel. The excitement and joy of seeing my hard work and the hard work of others unfold before my eyes. Seeing the way the music of a few bands had such an intense impact on those around me, the fans, was astounding. It made me realize that despite the bad wrap the Christian music industry has, I can still have an impact. Or even in a non-christian environment, music still has a profound influence on people. 

I realized that I LOVE production. I love seeing people mingle backstage. Breathing in the air of 1,000s of people and stage equipment. Yes, the equipment has a certain aroma. They say that one of our most powerful senses is the sense of smell and that that is one of the most prominent factors of being attracted to a person. I wonder if that can be true of a job or hobby... Maybe so. I love the sounds and the chaos of working out every detail. Every part of it excites me. 

So now... How can I combine all that I love into something concrete that pays what I want and is flexible? I don't know that I can. Unfortunately, despite what most think, the music industry is not a lucrative business. I will admit that there are a few exceptions, maybe 10% of the industry.. if that. For the most part, people don't choose this biz for the money. 

So my current dilemma... What will truly make me happy? Where can I best serve? How can I do what I love and make a living at it? Answers... anyone?