A couple weeks ago, I heard some really tough and also wonderful news. My aunt told me that my cousin was pregnant, but in the same sentence she uttered the words "breast cancer."
During her first major pregnancy checkup, the doctor noticed a lump in her breast. After testing, they found out that she not only had breast cancer, but it was rapidly progressing. To most, this would be terrible news. But as scared as my cousin was, she quickly realized that this baby saved her life. She never would have known that she had cancer if it wasn't for that checkup. I can't imagine being in her shoes, but her outlook astounds me and brings me to tears. She has a miracle baby growing inside her. I can only assume that her relationship with that child will be extra special.
My cousin has already had surgery to remove the lump and her lymph nodes where they also found cancer. It had spread, but there are no signs of any other cancerous cells. She will have to undergo chemotherapy while pregnant so please keep her in your prayers.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Friday, October 29, 2010
When your passion is also your fear
I can't remember a day in my life where I haven't sang, even for just a few minutes. I sing in the car, shower, with E, while cleaning, while cooking,... It's just something I've always been passionate about. I definitely wouldn't consider myself a professional, but I am trained. I have had vocal lessons from several different instructors and have been a part of several music groups throughout my life.
I'm not sure what happened, but one day I stopped singing in public. Criticism came where I least expected it, I guess, and it blew my confidence. Fear set in and I just didn't think I could get sing in front of anyone anymore. The excuses came and were pretty much unlimited. And then God placed our family in an incredible church where people appreciate us and love on us on a daily basis. Not long after being in that church, I felt God working on my heart and in my life. I felt called to sing again, to use the talent God has given me.
Of course, I kept getting in the way and letting fear control me. I made excuse after excuse and had a constant battle in my mind. I'd convince myself that I shouldn't, go to church, and the preacher would be talking about something the Bible says that made me realize that I needed to get over this.
After wrestling for 10 months, I finally picked a song and practiced with the worship leader. I can't even begin to describe what that did for me, how it healed a part of me that I didn't realize was broken. That night the thoughts crept in again about how I couldn't do this and I would make a fool of myself, so I decided it was time. There is no more waiting. God is calling me to use my talent and I need to just suck it up and get over it. So I'm singing the special on Sunday and the worship leader is singing background vocals for me. Craziness.
I know that this is a little silly, but don't we all do this? Whether it's speaking up about an issue to a friend or stranger, using a talent that you forgot about, or reviving a part of you that has been subdued for a long time, we all have something that we've let slip away. Something that is important to us that no one else may understand. I challenge you to speak up, to use your talent, to be yourself, to do the thing that you know is necessary but fear has taken over. Today...This week. Not Tomorrow or Next Week.
I'm not sure what happened, but one day I stopped singing in public. Criticism came where I least expected it, I guess, and it blew my confidence. Fear set in and I just didn't think I could get sing in front of anyone anymore. The excuses came and were pretty much unlimited. And then God placed our family in an incredible church where people appreciate us and love on us on a daily basis. Not long after being in that church, I felt God working on my heart and in my life. I felt called to sing again, to use the talent God has given me.
Of course, I kept getting in the way and letting fear control me. I made excuse after excuse and had a constant battle in my mind. I'd convince myself that I shouldn't, go to church, and the preacher would be talking about something the Bible says that made me realize that I needed to get over this.
After wrestling for 10 months, I finally picked a song and practiced with the worship leader. I can't even begin to describe what that did for me, how it healed a part of me that I didn't realize was broken. That night the thoughts crept in again about how I couldn't do this and I would make a fool of myself, so I decided it was time. There is no more waiting. God is calling me to use my talent and I need to just suck it up and get over it. So I'm singing the special on Sunday and the worship leader is singing background vocals for me. Craziness.
I know that this is a little silly, but don't we all do this? Whether it's speaking up about an issue to a friend or stranger, using a talent that you forgot about, or reviving a part of you that has been subdued for a long time, we all have something that we've let slip away. Something that is important to us that no one else may understand. I challenge you to speak up, to use your talent, to be yourself, to do the thing that you know is necessary but fear has taken over. Today...This week. Not Tomorrow or Next Week.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
October
With the change of seasons, I am finally starting to feel like myself again for the first time since E was born. My energy is coming back alongside my motivation. It's a wonderful thing.
As we approach my baby's very first birthday, I can't help but look back on the past year and how much our lives have changed. It seems like we have known her forever; that she has always been a part of our lives. But it also feels like just yesterday I was in the hospital roaming the halls waiting for her to make her grand entrance.
October is a busy month. There will be painting, cleaning, organizing, a garage sale, fall festival, several cakes to make and decorate, pinata making, invitation making/sending, out of town guests, cooking, baking, diaper changing, chasing, playing, big birthday party, shopping, coupon clipping, speaking to youth, choir, church, doctor visits, and just plain loving on my family. I'm excited, but it is definitely a lot so I am trying to take one day at a time.
As we approach my baby's very first birthday, I can't help but look back on the past year and how much our lives have changed. It seems like we have known her forever; that she has always been a part of our lives. But it also feels like just yesterday I was in the hospital roaming the halls waiting for her to make her grand entrance.
October is a busy month. There will be painting, cleaning, organizing, a garage sale, fall festival, several cakes to make and decorate, pinata making, invitation making/sending, out of town guests, cooking, baking, diaper changing, chasing, playing, big birthday party, shopping, coupon clipping, speaking to youth, choir, church, doctor visits, and just plain loving on my family. I'm excited, but it is definitely a lot so I am trying to take one day at a time.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Baby Blues, New Goals, and 90 days
Having a baby has really taken a toll on me. My energy is lacking, even 10 months after having her and a lot of the projects I have started around the house have gone by the wayside. So, for the next 60-90 days, I've set some goals for myself.
Ready or not, tomorrow my husband and I start 90 days of eating super healthy and working out for 1 1/2 hours a day. We both weigh more than we ever have (not including my pregnancy) and it is time for a change. I lost all of my pregnancy weight within a month of having E, but right after that month was the holidays and well, we all know what happens around the holidays.
It's funny how I always thought I was "fat" and looking back at pictures, I can now objectively see that I was tiny. What I wouldn't give to weigh what I did when I thought I was large.
Now I find myself in a place I never thought I would be. My goal is to lose 25 pounds. I know for some that sounds like a lot and for others, that's a small number, but I figure if I put it down on my blog where people can see it, that gives me more motivation and accountability to push myself.
Aside from numbers, I want to be and feel healthier. It's amazing how much energy I lost after having E. I honestly still have not gotten a lot of it back and it concerns me. I'm hoping that by eating a well balanced, healthier diet and exercising, I will start to have more energy and feel better overall.
On the flip side, I have also set some other goals to complete projects by E's first birthday. I really hope I'm not the only one who has started a million projects and didn't finish half of them. (Some of which is due to cash flow, but most is due to little time/energy)
1. Finish painting E's closet and put back together.
2. Find more decorations and curtains for E's room. (Yes she is 10 months and no I have not finished her room. Terrible, I know)
3. Paint guest room.
4. Finish painting the kitchen/dining. (Started this one 6 months ago.)
5. Hire/have someone put in our microwave and fix the plumbing under the kitchen sink. (I've had only one side to the sink and 2 burners on my stove because we took down the hood only to find out it's connected to the house electric. That's been like that about 4 months)
6. Deep clean entire house. (Cabinets, closets, floor boards, reorganize kitchen cabinets,...)
7. Paint living room. (This is probably the biggest project because we have vaulted ceilings and will have to have scaffolding.)
8. Enlist Help.
Number 8 is tough for me and I've been in a position where I've had no choice but to ask for help lately. I'm blessed with a great church family and wonderful friends who have really stepped up to help. I truly do not know what I'd do without them. But truth be told, I am only one person. And all of this plus the day to day stuff, taking care of a baby, preparing meals differently, shopping with coupons for healthy food items,... It's going to be a lot, but with help and support, I think it can be done.
Ready or not, tomorrow my husband and I start 90 days of eating super healthy and working out for 1 1/2 hours a day. We both weigh more than we ever have (not including my pregnancy) and it is time for a change. I lost all of my pregnancy weight within a month of having E, but right after that month was the holidays and well, we all know what happens around the holidays.
It's funny how I always thought I was "fat" and looking back at pictures, I can now objectively see that I was tiny. What I wouldn't give to weigh what I did when I thought I was large.
Now I find myself in a place I never thought I would be. My goal is to lose 25 pounds. I know for some that sounds like a lot and for others, that's a small number, but I figure if I put it down on my blog where people can see it, that gives me more motivation and accountability to push myself.
Aside from numbers, I want to be and feel healthier. It's amazing how much energy I lost after having E. I honestly still have not gotten a lot of it back and it concerns me. I'm hoping that by eating a well balanced, healthier diet and exercising, I will start to have more energy and feel better overall.
On the flip side, I have also set some other goals to complete projects by E's first birthday. I really hope I'm not the only one who has started a million projects and didn't finish half of them. (Some of which is due to cash flow, but most is due to little time/energy)
1. Finish painting E's closet and put back together.
2. Find more decorations and curtains for E's room. (Yes she is 10 months and no I have not finished her room. Terrible, I know)
3. Paint guest room.
4. Finish painting the kitchen/dining. (Started this one 6 months ago.)
5. Hire/have someone put in our microwave and fix the plumbing under the kitchen sink. (I've had only one side to the sink and 2 burners on my stove because we took down the hood only to find out it's connected to the house electric. That's been like that about 4 months)
6. Deep clean entire house. (Cabinets, closets, floor boards, reorganize kitchen cabinets,...)
7. Paint living room. (This is probably the biggest project because we have vaulted ceilings and will have to have scaffolding.)
8. Enlist Help.
Number 8 is tough for me and I've been in a position where I've had no choice but to ask for help lately. I'm blessed with a great church family and wonderful friends who have really stepped up to help. I truly do not know what I'd do without them. But truth be told, I am only one person. And all of this plus the day to day stuff, taking care of a baby, preparing meals differently, shopping with coupons for healthy food items,... It's going to be a lot, but with help and support, I think it can be done.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Derailed
You know how you get on a roll with life and things and everything seems to make sense and work... and then you have a crazy week and things get derailed? This was our crazy week. And boy do I feel behind on life! I guess maybe that's a bad outlook to have because crazy weeks happen often, but I just hate when I get things in order and then life takes over. Don't you?
I got into this GREAT habit of cleaning every morning while my babe naps. It's wonderful because every morning I would do the basics, plus tackle a mess that has been waiting for a long time. You know... like under a cabinet or the closet or cleaning the fridge,... It was working great. And once upon a time ALL of my coupons were clipped and folded neatly into my HUGE binder.
Well, I am sad to report that the laundry is piled up, there are dishes in my sink, the fridge is well...let's not go there, and my coupons are all over the guest room.
BUT on the plus side, I got to make 2 cakes and spend A LOT of time hanging out with my little family and friends. Sometimes people are just way more important than always having to keep up with everything. And truth be told, no one can keep up with everything all of the time. And if they say they can, they're lying. No one is perfect. As much as I want to believe that there are real Martha Stewarts out there who do it all without hired help, there just aren't. That's crazy.
I got into this GREAT habit of cleaning every morning while my babe naps. It's wonderful because every morning I would do the basics, plus tackle a mess that has been waiting for a long time. You know... like under a cabinet or the closet or cleaning the fridge,... It was working great. And once upon a time ALL of my coupons were clipped and folded neatly into my HUGE binder.
Well, I am sad to report that the laundry is piled up, there are dishes in my sink, the fridge is well...let's not go there, and my coupons are all over the guest room.
BUT on the plus side, I got to make 2 cakes and spend A LOT of time hanging out with my little family and friends. Sometimes people are just way more important than always having to keep up with everything. And truth be told, no one can keep up with everything all of the time. And if they say they can, they're lying. No one is perfect. As much as I want to believe that there are real Martha Stewarts out there who do it all without hired help, there just aren't. That's crazy.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Savings Saturday - Sell Stuff you're not using anymore
My husband and I don't really have a lot of stuff. Meaning that we are young and haven't accumulated that much, but we definitely have enough to have a small yard sale or two. In fact, we did one today. I pretty much threw it together. We bummed off some neighbors who already posted signs at the front of our subdivision. I posted some stuff on craigslist to try to draw some people, but I only made one sign and hung it from our mailbox.
We had a lot of smaller items and clothes, and we still did well. Think of it this way... We spend a lot of time not earning money. Even if your sale averages out to $3 an hour, that's more money than you had before and you're getting rid of stuff you don't need/use anymore. AND someone else is going to get use from those things.
Just a side note... say you only make $50. If you coupon and/or shop sales, that money could get you $200+ worth of groceries! Or you could use whatever money you make to pay down a bill so that it ends up costing you less in interest in the long run, thus saving you even more money!
OR.... Use that extra money to treat yourself. I think it is super important to take care of yourself and sometimes, a massage or new hairdo is necessary!
Or you could use it to save for Christmas shopping, a family vacation, make house repairs,... the opportunities are endless.
If you don't want to have a yard sale, list some items on Craigslist or Ebay. Even if they're random items, you just never know what people are looking for!
I sold a brand new set of Faux Wood Blinds today that didn't end up fitting in our window. I never took them back and they've been sitting in our bedroom for almost a year. (I know I know, shame on me. I am just terrible at taking things back.) I actually got close to what I paid for them, because I got such a good deal when I originally purchased them.
Sometimes its hard to get rid of stuff, but I promise that once you start doing it, it will get easier!
We had a lot of smaller items and clothes, and we still did well. Think of it this way... We spend a lot of time not earning money. Even if your sale averages out to $3 an hour, that's more money than you had before and you're getting rid of stuff you don't need/use anymore. AND someone else is going to get use from those things.
Just a side note... say you only make $50. If you coupon and/or shop sales, that money could get you $200+ worth of groceries! Or you could use whatever money you make to pay down a bill so that it ends up costing you less in interest in the long run, thus saving you even more money!
OR.... Use that extra money to treat yourself. I think it is super important to take care of yourself and sometimes, a massage or new hairdo is necessary!
Or you could use it to save for Christmas shopping, a family vacation, make house repairs,... the opportunities are endless.
If you don't want to have a yard sale, list some items on Craigslist or Ebay. Even if they're random items, you just never know what people are looking for!
I sold a brand new set of Faux Wood Blinds today that didn't end up fitting in our window. I never took them back and they've been sitting in our bedroom for almost a year. (I know I know, shame on me. I am just terrible at taking things back.) I actually got close to what I paid for them, because I got such a good deal when I originally purchased them.
Sometimes its hard to get rid of stuff, but I promise that once you start doing it, it will get easier!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Sometimes
Sometimes things don't go according to plan.
Sometimes they do.
Sometimes life is really really tough.
Sometimes it isn't.
Sometimes we don't understand why things happen the way they do.
Sometimes we do.
Sometimes we try to do the best we can at everything we do.
Sometimes we don't.
It's been another rough week, and there are a lot of things I don't understand. There are a lot of "ifs," "maybes," "buts," and "sometimes." Above all, I know that God is in control. He has a plan and it is perfect. I am just resting in that today.
Sometimes they do.
Sometimes life is really really tough.
Sometimes it isn't.
Sometimes we don't understand why things happen the way they do.
Sometimes we do.
Sometimes we try to do the best we can at everything we do.
Sometimes we don't.
It's been another rough week, and there are a lot of things I don't understand. There are a lot of "ifs," "maybes," "buts," and "sometimes." Above all, I know that God is in control. He has a plan and it is perfect. I am just resting in that today.
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